MACARENA ZYDECO — by Gary Hayman — August 3, 1996
If you haven’t heard of the “Macarena” you’ve either been spending your time aboard a submerged naval nuclear submarine, on an extended spelunking trip to some lost caves somewhere, or locked in a bank vault with your certificates of deposit waiting for them to mature.
Come on now, admit it. You’ve seen the latest dance craze that is sweeping the nation. It’s ubiquitous. It’s even everywhere. You can’t walk down a street, shop at a grocery store, or drive the interstate without hearing the song’s pounding beat and the words “Hey, Macarena” echoing in your ears.
Just visit any night spot and you’ll find this catchy tune being played, not once, but over and over and over again. People who have never danced before are gyrating their hips in rhythm with each other in this peculiar line dance that is destined to become an institution. Why everyone, from two to 102 years old are doing it. It has become a hit of the nursery and retirement homes as well.
After the first few notes of the “Macarena,” the dance floor is filled with masses reaching in the air, crossing their arms, touching their hips, grabbing their butts, and yes, dare I say it — doing a pelvic thrust. As a result, more and more people are coming out to night spots not only to dance to the regular music, be it Country Western, Contra, Rock, Heavy Metal, etc., but to dance to the “Macarena” at least 4 or more times an evening.
The dance is becoming so popular that it is affecting the businesses of our nation — especially in Louisiana. For example, down in Louisiana the Crawfish Shack of Henderson has change their controversial T-shirt saying to read — “Squeeze Me, Peel Me, Do the Macarena.” Countering, another famous restaurant in Beaux Bridge LA now advertises — “The Original Mulate’s Macarena.” Randols’ restaurant in Lafayette LA has scrapped its Cajun dancing and is now bringing in tour busses of blue-haired ladies by the score for “Macarena” lessons and dancing. Rand & Cynthia Speyrer, well-known dance teachers are rushing to place, on the market, their two new videos — Beginning Macarena and Advanced Macarena (which includes how to do the “Macarena” if there are only three people on the floor with a dance modification called the Troikarena.) The famous Cajun restaurant, just North of Lafayette, Enola Prudhomme’s Cajun Cafe, had renamed one of its most celebrated dishes, Macque Choux to — Macque Macarena and has completely eliminated its famous Crawfish Etouffe in favor of a new dish development called Crawfish Hey! Macarena.
Now here’s the situation, and let me say — it’s serious; so please pay attention. The National Institute of Health has just released a report stating that dancing the Macarena will tend to dehydrate the dancer and make him/her immediately thirsty. Not three and one-half minutes after the release of this report to the public, it was faxed, by the Association of Music Club Owners (AMCO) to all club owners throughout the United States. The AMCO has recommenced to all of its members that the Macarena MUST be played at least four times during the evening by the performing bands. The thinking is that if the people get up to dance the Macarena, they will become thirsty, and therefore purchase more drinks from the bar. This fact has been of particular interest to Zydeco dance establishment owners. It is a well-known fact that Zydeco dancers don’t purchase many drinks at these clubs and the owners have been complaining that they have been losing their shirts — er, T-shirts, because of the lack of drink sales. Thus this new ruling is welcomed with open arms and wallets by the club owners
Richard’s Club of Lawtell LA was the first to demand that all of their performing Zydeco bands include the Macarena (the 5-minute version) once each hour. They further announced that their normal “Party On The Green,” an outside event would include the Macarena played twice an hour in the 18 minute version (which is fifty-five seconds longer than Iron Butterfly’s 1968 recording of “In-A-Gadda-Da-Vida.”) El Sid O’s of Lafayette has changed its name to El Sid O’s Zydeco, Blues, and Macarena Club and has also instituted the once-per-hour policy. Fred’s Lounge of Mamou, although formerly known as a Cajun lounge, is now strictly Macarena and is open at 9 AM on Saturday mornings where huge crowds have been lining up awaiting their turn on the spacious dance floor to dance to that song over and over again.
And that’s only the tip of the iceberg.
Caught in the middle between the pressure of the dancers wanting to dance the Macarena and the club owners demanding that they play the Macarena, the Zydeco bands of Louisiana are now often playing the famous Latin tune but with a Zydeco beat. They have found that the 16 steps of the Macarena dance easily lends itself to the Zydeco 4/4 (back-beat) over 4 measures of music, so adjustments were not too difficult. [Note: if you have two left feet, please double the above numbers.]
I believe it was Roy Carrier & The Night Rockers who first experimented by putting new words to his famous Oh Bye Bye and Shake That Booty to develop the more current Bye Bye Macarena and The Macarena Booty Shake. That started it. The pounding Zydeco beat of Keith Frank which regularly seduced the audience to yell out, “Keith-Frank, Keith-Frank, ….” over and over again, a la James Brown, was modified to elicit a milder “Mac-arena, Mac-arena, …. Zydeco Force changed some words in their Zydeco Push song to, “The Macarena is when you move your tush.” Robby Robinson of the Zydeco Force said that he knew it didn’t rhyme, but he was forced to jump on the Macarena bandwagon in a hurry. Even little Rosie Ledet, Zydeco’s Sweetheart re-recorded her famous tune and released, I’m Gonna Take Care Of Your Dog — Macarena Style. People still don’t know the meaning of the words of this song. It’s something like the hidden meanings contained in Don McLean’s American Pie of yesteryear. Now I would be remiss if I didn’t tell you, that in honor of this new dance, Steve Riley of Steve Riley and the Mamou Playboys changed his famous variable hairdo to the Macarena Cut and currently thousands of Louisianian men and women are doing the same.
Well, all is not lost. We Zydeco dancers do have a couple of options:
First: when the Macarena is played we can ignore it and keep our seats. Perhaps use the time to visit with friends or change our T-shirts. Personally, I agree with Linda Keenan, president of the powerful Zydecodependents organization and developer of the famous 8-step program (step brush step step step brush step step) for addicted Zydeco dancers, who said, “We came here to dance — so I Wanna Do My Thing.”
Second: we can give in and join the crowded dance floor and do the Macarena with all its splendor, regardless of the fact that we may look like sheep, become thirsty and would be forced to purchase refreshments at the bar.
Third: we can grab a partner, get on the floor, and do our own beloved Zydeco dance steps while the “others” are following the Macarena craze. This could create animosity with the less talented dancers who are doing the Macarena and it is liable to get dangerous when they start bumping into you and hitting you — as they already do in Cajun, Country Western, and Grunge dancing.
Fourth: (WARNING – kids, don’t try this at home. It is only to be done by Real Zydeco Dancers — professionals. I take no responsibility for injuries incurred while attempting to do the following.) If you are able to chew gum, pat the top of your head, and rub your stomach all at the same time, plus know how to Zydeco dance, then you probably have enough coordination to do the following. Drink one of the Abita beers that you smuggled into the club in your sports bag and get on the dance floor with the Macarena maniacs. Let your upper body follow the Macarena moves while your lower body does your beloved Zydeco step. While this will take enormous amounts of concentration, at first, the beat of the music does lend itself to doing two complete 8-step Zydeco moves during a chorus of Macarena. The dancers on the floor won’t know that you are not dancing the same dance that they are since they only look at your arms. Therefore you will never get into an altercation. Since only half of your body is involved in the Macarena dance, you will only become half as thirsty and perhaps not be forced into purchasing liquid refreshments. By doing this you can save your dignity and some money at the same time.
As for me, I will do the fourth option while waiting till the craze slows so that I can return to doing my LAMBADA ZYDECO.
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Macarena
(16 counts to the dance)
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Counts Action
1 Right arm out (palm down)
2 Left arm out parallel to right arm (palm down)
3 Turn right palm up
4 Turn left palm up
5 Right hand to front of left shoulder
6 Left hand to front of right shoulder
7 Right arm behind right ear or back of head
8 Left arm behind left ear or back of head
9 Right hand to left hip
10 Left hand to right hip
11 Right hand on right tush
12 Left hand on left tush
13-15 Wiggle downward, rotate the hips or do a pelvic thrust during the three beats
16 Jump quarter turn left (some groups do it to the right)
Start over
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